I’m switching things up. Again. I know, I know, I just switched to high protein keto macros like…last month…and I’m keeping that bit! The high protein is still going great. my body loves the protein, and I love eating all the meat.
Fat loss—weight reduction—isn’t my focus anymore. I just…can’t keep going how I have been. I’m burned out and I’ve hit a wall. To be totally honest, this has been building for a while, but then I’d have a good week and recommit and convince myself to keep going. But after this vacation I’ve reached my limit. I’ve been working on fat loss/weight loss for 3.5 straight years. That’s a LONG. FUCKING. TIME. I’m not seeing results anymore, and I just need a break! I’ve been busting my ass with low macros (under 1400 cals a day) and working out 5x a week with hardly any scale results. It’s discouraging and infuriating. I know that the scale shouldn’t matter, blah blah blah, but it does matter to me. It does. The number on the scale had meaning when it said 250 and I was fat as hell, and it has meaning now that it say 150 and I’m more… average-ish.
So I’m changing my focus. I’m going to be eating to maintenance calories (food! I get food! So much food!) and putting my focus fully on strength and body recomposition [aka losing fat and replacing it with muscle; staying the same weight but altering my body fat %] I’ve pretty much *been* in maintenance and doing slowwww body recomp for the past 9ish months, even though I was still trying to lose weight. I’ve lost inches (2 from my waist!) and clothing sizes, I look different, but the scale is saying pretty much the same thing.
And thus, I’m throwing in the towel for now. Not forever! I’m more like, placing the towel gently to the side, all washed and folded and ready for future use. I do still want to be *S K I N N Y* someday (I know, I know, ‘strong not skinny,’ pero like… ¿por que no los dos?). I’ve never been skinny in my life, and it’s a goal I have, but I’m finally admitting to myself that I can’t achieve that goal right now without resorting to mentally and/or physically unhealthy methods. I’m not going to cut calories to 1100/day and do hours of cardio just to see the scale budge. Nope. Nope nope nope. Been there, done that, the result was bingeing like crazy and I’m soooo over that.
Anyway! I’m excited but also a wee bit… scared shitless? I haven’t had this many calories per day (near 1700) on a regular basis since the verrrry beginning of my journey, when I weighed 250 pounds. So yeah, part of me is terrified that I’m going to start ballooning up and gain all the weight back overnight (impossible, duh) and part of me is like I CAN HAVE SO. MANY. FOODS. — it’s a mixed bag. I’m going to keep an eye on the scale with weekly (not! daily!) weigh-ins, just to make sure I’m not overdoing it with the calories. If I start steadily gaining, I’ll adjust. But the scale isn’t my main focus anymore—for now.